


He Hoped

by NaGaKi108



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Christmas, Gen, Heterochromia, Its not even that happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 03:50:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17154770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaGaKi108/pseuds/NaGaKi108
Summary: He hoped Virgil stared at the gift and realized all the things his older brother wasn't allowed to say anymore.He hoped he understood the meaning of it, and the feelings of pride and also disappointment behind the gift





	He Hoped

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for older brother deceit. And also he is my son and im not sorry

As Deceit stared numbly at the gift on his lap he wondered, again, if it was worth it to hand it over. A big part of him wanted to hand it over already just for the sake of seeing his face, but the bigger part of him wasn't sure if it was worth the humiliation.

It wasn't that he believed that he would laugh at his face or step on his awkward gesture, but -and wasn't that the issue? The forever existence of a "but" that wasn't letting him rest, that kept him up since the night he finished the gift, that made him stop night after night outside his door with shaking hands and a heavy lump on his throat.

He groaned and messed up his hair, a bad habit that he wasn't still able to knock out. Christmas was never an easy time, but it shouldn't be this complex, it shouldn't have the feeling of uncertainty going hand to hand with nerves.

With a defeated sounding sigh he stood up and left the room, thankful for the cover of the late hour and secure in the knowledge that the only other side insomniac enough to be awake was locked up in his room and would stay there until morning. As he placed carefully the untagged gift [he was going to do this, but it didn't mean the others had to know it was _him_ ] he stared at the presents. Deceit knew there was not going to be one for him -why would there? The others made pretty obvious their dislike for him and even if some had been kinder about showing disgust he knew there wasn't enough kindness around for the others to remember he was also a part of Thomas and that he also experienced a lot of the Christmas spirit, he knew none of them would ever remember to think **_"hey, maybe we shouldn't isolate the only side that can actually censor us!"_** \- but even though he logically knew that, he wasn't **Logic**. He had allowed himself to still hope, in a small part of his mind, that there might be something for him out there.

He left the gift under the tree and returned to his room. He just hoped Virgil would like the plush kitten.

He just hoped Virgil would stop being ashamed of his eyes once he noticed the heterochromia on his new plush. He hoped Virgil understood that he wasn't mocking him, that he wasn't threatening him, that this wasn't a gift born out of meanness.  
He hoped Virgil understood that this was his older brother -the one who had dried his tears before the others accepted him, the one who had told him that heterochromia didn't made him evil even if most of the Darker Sides had that particular eye phenomenon, that different didn't mean bad- worried about him hiding something so normal like his eyes, something so beautiful like the purple twinkle that shone brightly whenever he laughed, that filled with multicolor light when he was excited about something, and that resembled an amethyst when it filled with tears.

He hoped Virgil stared at the plush and realized all the things Deceit wasn't allowed to say anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Yell at me on Tumblr [well i mean im not that into the SandersSides fandom anymore but the tumblr is still there so [shrugs] do what you wish]  
> https://analogically-prinxiety.tumblr.com


End file.
